Swing Lingo

When referring to swinging, you will hear many people refer to it simply as “The Lifestyle”.

Here are a number of acronyms and other terms you will hear in Lifestyle circles.  Please feel free to contact us if we’ve left something off!


Vanilla(s) – These are people who are not a part of the lifestyle and are usually somewhat sexually conservative.  They may or may not know of lifestylers’ choices and usually they are people around whom lifestylers will want to be a little extra “discrete” or conservative.  If a lifestyle friend whispers to you that another friend in their group of friends is “vanilla”, this usually means you should not be mentioning anything lifestyle related within their earshot and will want to behave as if you are mostly “vanilla” as well – unless your friend says otherwise.

Vanilla Swirl – Someone who is a little more sexually adventurous, but not fully participating in the lifestyle.  They usually know a little about the lifestyle scene and are comfortable hearing about it – as well as sometimes attending events and maybe being flirty – but generally do not consider themselves swingers.

Full Swap – Both partners will have full intercourse with the partners of another couple.

Soft Swap – The couple will interact with the members of another couple – usually involving kissing, touching, sometimes oral, but no full intercourse.

Same room – Sometimes this refers to couples having sex with their own partner in the same room as another couple, but can also refer to swapping and staying in the same room as one’s partner, allowing for interaction as well as making sure each other is happy and safe.

Orgy – A group play scenario where everyone is touching and interacting together regardless of who is connected to whom.

MFM – Male/Female/Male sexual encounter

FMF – Female/Male/Female sexual encounter

On-premise – these type of swing clubs/events allow sex on site.

Off-premise – These clubs/events are for meeting, socializing, & flirting only (“meet & greets”) and any sexual activity must be taken elsewhere (off the premises).

M&G or Meet and Greet – See above.  This is mostly an event to meet other swingers and socialize with them.  Often includes dancing.  Can be at a public venue, or can be an exclusive event.  Usually sexual activity is not condoned.

HWP – Height/Weight Proportional.  These people may not have “perfect” bodies (if there is such a thing), but are in the average weight range for their height.  People often refer to this in their profiles on swing dating sites or a club owner may say that those attending must be HWP.

FWB – Friends with benefits – Not just a “sex only” transaction, but an ongoing relationship.

DDF – Drug and disease free

Hall Pass – Sometimes a one-time occurance, sometimes an ongoing pass, this grants a partner a “pass” to play with someone on their own.

BSP or Backstage Pass – This refers to giving another member on a swing website access to your private/protected pictures.  A member will ask for a backstage pass (or “white list”, or access to your “privates” – depending on the terminology used for each website) when they think they might be interested and would like to see face pictures….or more.  The pictures in a member’s locked album usually show members’ faces as well as more sexy/risque photos that they do not want open to the general public.

Open Relationship – Both members of a couple date others freely.  They may have girl/boyfriends in addition to their primary partner.

Polyamorous – These people have multiple relationships.  Similar to an “open” relationship, but much more committed to multiple partners.  Sometimes these multiple partners will live together and can be called a “pod” or a “triad” (when there are 3).

Squirting – a female ejaculation involving a large volume of liquid.   

DP – Double Penetration – usually refers to a female having two holes penetrated at the same time, vagina & anus.

DVP – Double Vagina Penetration – two cocks in one vagina

Air Tight – All holes filled – Vagina, anus, mouth

BJ – Blow Job / Felatio (usually a female sucking on a man’s penis)

Cock blocked – Someone has interfered with another person’s attempts to get laid

Pasties – stickers used to cover nipples – often used at venues where full nudity is not acceptable.

Pearl Necklace – cum on one’s chest/neck

Bukkake – several men ejaculating onto one woman

Toys – sex toys such as vibrators, cock rings, nipple clamps, butt plugs, anal beads, etc.  See our page here (coming soon) for a more complete listing.

Wand – aka “Wanda”, “Magic Wand”, “Hitachi” – The Hitachi Magic Wand – sold as a personal massager – is often used by ladies for amazing clitoral orgasms.  Can purchase attachments (for internal stimulation as well) and speed controllers (standard model has 2 speeds).

Strap-on – A dildo that can be worn (presumably by someone without a penis – such as a woman) to fuck someone else.

BDSM – This is (as well as other kinks or fetishes) can sometimes be an offshoot of swinging and stands for Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadomasochism.  Many parties and clubs will have a room where couples can play with an assortment of devices.